Friends in Low Places

Now that I have you singing Garth Brooks I’m going list the various bugs (friends) we have encountered.  Here is a list and a few photos of the who and where along with a bit of their behavior.

  1. Glow in the dark spider in Australia.  Seriously, chartreuse green in the dark and hanging out at our camp chairs.  Only as big as a dime though.  Pretty sure it was one of the ones that bites you and you gain super powers a day later.  We lost track of it and no body can do any wall climbing yet so I think we are in the clear.

    KG Bali spider

    Bali spider with a spread as big as your hand

  2. Bali also has a rather daunting spider.  We ran in to a few on the terrace walk with our friend Drew.  I think they might catch motorbike riders because they hang out about head level on trails.  No Thank YOU!
  3. Praying Mantis.  Two, one in each bathroom in Hoi An, Vietnam.  Friendly and seem to creepily track you as you move from side to side.  They are great at hiding under the back of the toilet. Check your surroundings!
  4. Geckos are not bugs but they eat a lot of them and they are in southeast Asia as well as Australia.

    DSC01661

    This fella watched me do dishes. He never blinked.

  5. They come out at night and hang out on walls near lights. Waiting for a moth to snack on. Some folks call them lizards and the big ones geckos. They actually make a call that is “Gek-o” repeated multiple times.
  6. Frogs.  Again, not a bug but a bug eater and are pretty exciting.  Big ones in Bali are about the size of your fistDSC02021.  I met a few by the pool and one in the bathroom.  He was hiding under my swim trunks and as I reached to get them from the ledge he jumped and stuck to the far wall of the shower.  Quite the leap, a good distance of about 4 feet.  I jumped about twice that and then he jumped again to the wall to his left.  I had returned to stationary panic position and thought it was cool until his final move.  He landed on my lower leg and grabbed on.  I swear I could feel each individual finger gripping my calf as he took a rodeo ride on my now flailing leg.   Disapearing behind the bathroom sink I recovered with my voice dropping back from seprano to baratone in good ten minutes.  You win frog, well played.
  7. Birds.  Alive and less so.
  8.  Worms.  Aussie and Vietnam
  9. Ants. Small sugar ants, big black, red fire.. so many.  The biggest problem is the first.  Rain and then shine equals lines of sugar ants crisscrossing along the floor.  And if you forgot to put anything edible away either on top of the fridge or in it you get a special treat of having them cover your hand when you pick it up later.  All food gets put away asap.  Some locations had an ongoing battle in bathroom showers. Some of the ants so small you can’t see them.  You start feeling them and they bite just a bit and you start looking like your trying to brush flour off black pants.  In Bali we had a big black ant issue.  I sprayed into a hole in the wall and out they came as if I had just hit the hive with a stick.  A waterfall of ants.
  10. Spiders.  Yeah, I just need to revisit this one because I just survived an epic battle with a giant!  Seriously, I’m writing the section on “ants” and I see the wall move.  Oakley is sleeping next to me with my wife and Canyon in the other room.  He just fell asleep so I have to do a silent battle.  Holy crap that’s a big spider…. Does it jump?  I have to get it before it’s out of reach.  I should get a picture of this guy first.

    Cut me some slack on the photo quality.  It’s pretty good for low light full panic mode.

  11. Evidence and if I lose then the Dr. will want to know what bit me.  If my wife sees this thing we are packing and leaving.  Check that, I’m packing and they are heading to the cleanest hotel in the land.  Maybe I should wake up Oak and move him?  No, he will ask questions leading to full panic mode.  Lets just keep that panic mode to myself.  I don’t want to get too close, I don’t think a shoe or sandal gives me a good distance.  Is it poisonous?  Don’t even go there.  It’s got to go.  I need a book.  Damn, that’s a big spider.  Focus!  Scanning the room for a weapon, making sure it’s not running off.  Ah! the boys’ hard cover cursive writing practice book.  Here I come!  That sneaker just went into the bathroom.  Good, I’m happy to bring the battle to the small confined space of a bathroom with toilet/shower set up.  Wait, is it poisonous?  Sweet, this book will slide under the door you are hiding behind.  Slide to crush.  No luck, and he’s on to me.  Great move genius you just gave up your weapon.  Off to the other room for more ammo! Remember all this is silent like a muted action film. Light on my feet as I spring to the kitchen.  Maybe get a jar to trap it? More like a bucket!  Then what, show everyone?  Focus man it’s a battle to the death or we are out of here. (in real time I’m still scanning the room for a possible partner, wondering where it came from and if it brought friends) Grab that can of bug spray.  Ok. bug spray in one hand and a size 7 sandal in the other. I try the sandal drop move first but it catches it and tosses it to the side.  Oh Crap! Grab the other sandal.  He’s moving!  I have the other sandal on my foot but it is my last resort to get that close to the beast and to top it off the sandal is the kind with holes in the sole for drainage.  Not good.  He’s making a break for it.  Across the dirty clothes pile looking like a soft-shell crab.  Spray, Spray, Spray! That slows him but it won’t kill him.  I use the bottom of the can (he is bigger than the base of the can) no luck missed now he is hiding behind the iPad leaning against the wall.  I must block his escape.  Eureka!  Found two big ziplock bags with the boys’ school workbooks. About five workbooks in each.  I remember in the movie “Bee Movie” that some bugs are measured by the size of magazine it takes to kill it.  I believe the bees were impressed with a spring Vogue issue.  I think I might have a chance.  Cornered it and dropped the workbooks.  Two full loads and then a frantic bashing.  Remember it’s a silent battle but I bet the neighbors can hear my heart beating like Will Smith’s “Miami” playing at 2000 beats per minute.  What to do with the carcass?  Oakley has slept through the whole thing.  Hide the dead for a minute while I think.  Wife text from the other room “What’s going on?”. She knows something is going on and is smart not to come in.  “Nothing honey. Just a little spider that was particularly feisty.”.   Ok. I need a huge paper towel or a broom to get rid of it.  This TP will have to do.  Sure it’s dead?  More TP just in case.  Flush.  Done.
  • Of course I had to look it up after and I feel badly for taking out a spider that eats cockroaches.  Who knew at the time?  Huntsman Spider “known by this name because of their speed and mode of hunting.  They also are called giant crab spiders because of their size and appearance.” – https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider.  I was spot on with my assessment of this guy.  Fast and crab like movement.

That’s it, I’m not adding anymore to this list.  I may have jinxed myself by deciding to write on this topic (my wife suggested it) and I don’t have the energy for another battle.

I know I will write more in this area.  I’ve already had a few more encounters since writing this post.

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4 thoughts on “Friends in Low Places

  1. I’m in tears! …he catches it and tosses it aside…. the battle was lost but the war was on! Good luck with you future wildlife encounters! Remember hand to hand combat is always the most rewarding!

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  2. Pingback: 18 Thailand Observations and the Lessons Aren't Over Yet! - Setting Simple Expectations

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